A lot of couples are good at finding compromises and solutions for minor problems in their marriage, but there are times when a couple may face a situation they cannot resolve. If you and your spouse have one really big issue that continuously causes arguments, you should find a way to resolve the issue before it causes too much marital stress. Here are three steps you can take that may help you finally resolve this big issue in your marriage.
Try To Truly Understand The Other Person's Perspective
The first step in solving this one big issue in your marriage is to sit down and talk about the problem. This will require a lot of understanding and patience, and you will need to plan a time when you can talk without being interrupted. Before you meet to talk about this issue, each of you should write a list with your main points on it, and you should make copies so each spouse can see both lists. Your list should state the following things:
- What the problem is – With any disagreement, it's important to make sure you are both talking about the exact same issue.
- Reasons for the way you feel about this – You should have clear reasons that explain why you feel the way you do.
- Ways you feel you are contributing to the problem – In any disagreement, there is a good chance you are both contributing to the problem, and it is best if you can admit this.
- Potential solutions or options for compromise – It's also good to have ideas about how to compromise on the issue at hand. This could help simplify the process of finding a solution.
Once you both have your lists, you can begin discussing the issue. With these lists, you might have an easier time understanding each other and coming up with a solution you can both live with.
Get A Second Opinion From A Trusted Friend Or Mentor
If talking about the issue with your lists does not resolve the issue you are struggling with, it might be wise for each of you to talk to a trusted friend about the issue. The important thing to do when these meetings take place is to bring the lists, and it may also be easier if these meetings are in person. When you sit and discuss the issue with the person you selected, show the person both lists. By doing this, the person will be able to better understand both sides of the story, and he or she might be able to give you good advice.
If you both do this and feel like the meetings helped, you may want to once again sit down and discuss the problem. You could even ask your friends if they would be willing to sit down with you and your spouse to discuss the issue.
Visit A Marriage Counselor
If this option fails and you are still not happy with the results, the best thing you could do is visit a marriage counselor. Through this, you can receive professional advice and help, and you may even learn communication skills you can use for future problems. In addition, marriage counseling may help both of you learn how to better solve the problems you have. If you can learn skills like this and apply them to your marriage, you could have a marriage that is stronger and better.
To learn more about this or to schedule an appointment for professional help, contact a center that offers counseling services for couples. This could drastically help you improve your marriage and have a happy, satisfying relationship for years to come.